Wednesday, August 23, 2006

why are old people more interesting than me

i just went out with these people who are friends with my mom who live by me. hippies. like they had a baby at home and her dad was a photographer and took pictures of the baby's screaming head ripping out of her vagina. and then i saw that picture when i was seven and it traumatized me for the whole rest of my life. HEY THANKS FOR TRAUMATIZING ME FOR LIFE, i told her.

then i heard all these crazy stories about how her and my mom infiltrated a corrupt insane asylum or something. SO MOM I HEAR IN YOUR TWENTIES YOU WERE INVOLVED IN COVERT OPERATIONS FOR YOUR JOB. what the fuck. i want to infiltrate something for my job. i am totally prepared for it. when i was little my uncle used to take me places we weren't supposed to be and we practiced walking around like we owned the place or whatever.

my uncle taught me all kinds of awesome shit when i was little. how to act like you are supposed to be somewhere you aren't and how to beat lie detector tests, that sort of things. too bad i hardly ever get to utilize these awesome skills. i think the end goal was supposed to be me single handedly overthrowing the man or something. i should write a book about all the bizzare activities me and my uncle used to engage in. EVERYTHING I NEED TO KNOW IN LIFE I LEARNED FROM THE WEATHERMEN i could call it.
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