Saturday, July 01, 2006

and then the movie could be called 'thain.'

yesterday i met a guy named thane. oh i'm sorry THAIN. like train. he wanted me to come over and drink vodka at his house in the middle of nowhere. I HAVE AIR CONDITIONING he said. yeah okay.

and because i am obsessed with being murdered recently i decided maybe this guy wasn't actually stupid and when i got over there he was going to torture me and i would be screaming but nobody would hear it because they would all be drunk and yelling and shit and then like three hours later someone would be like where the fuck did erin go? and they would go over to thain's house and find me strapped to a table with my intenstines hanging out of me and also there would be dead bodies of all these other girls. like 15 year old girls who hang out barefoot at gas stations and will totally go back to some weird guy's house in the middle of nowhere because he bought them beer. or prositutes.

i wasn't actually thinking of this at the time i just thought of it just now while i was in the shower. yes these are the kinds of things i think about while i am in the shower. because this is totally a horror movie premise. forty five year old guy lives in a house in the middle of nowhere and then a bunch of kids move in on the same property and he hangs out with them, acts mildly retarded, they make fun of him constantly, he acts oblivious while building up an immense amount of contempt and rage, then one day he tortures and kills all of them and burns the whole place down.

and the best part is i guess in reality they really are tearing down these houses and putting up condos or some shit. so there's the sequel. attractive young newlyweds buy first home built on the land where masssacre took place, haunted by thain.
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