Sunday, June 25, 2006

listen to me talk about absolutely nothing

i have the fucking gayest job ever. it involves conference calls and shit TELECOMMUTING so i'm sure you can imagine how stupid it is.

i have to write shit and then talk on the phone to people about it. not interesting shit either. and then the people i am talking to, i swear.

i took a lot of notes during this very important telecommute. such as HOW IN THE FUCK COULD THIS TAKE SO LONG and I AM GOING TO KILL MYSELF.

and then i am like WHAT WHAT I CAN'T HEAR YOU WHAT DID YOU SAY WHAT? then i remembered how when my dad can't hear something i said which is like all the fucking time he goes 'pardon?' and i practically feel my heart breaking every time he says it for some reason. like even right now thinking about it. probably my brain is wired wrong or something because i probably shouldn't be having emotional reactions to the word pardon but then when my grandma dies or something i'm like 'woah that sucks. oh shit we are out of salami!'

this is seriously the kind of shit i was thinking about during this conference call. and then i am like 'oh shit we are out of salami!'??? I AM SO FUNNY and then i start laughing and i try to cover it up by pretending i am having a coughing fit and then i'm like WAIT WHAT?

for some reason when i try to do grown up activities like have conference calls or go to weddings or whatever it is really hard for me to not burst out laughing at nothing.

also i should love this job because they pay me to do basically nothing like last week i got paid for 20 hours of doing basically nothing and then i got paid for 20 more hours of doing actually nothing. and then i still hate this job anyway which tells me that i was not made to work. i bet if i started getting paychecks for getting drunk i would be like GETTING DRUNK IS SO HARD I CAN NOT TAKE THIS.

actually that is not entirely a joke they have studies where they pay a bunch of little kids to do something they were doing anyway and then the kids are like man this sucks lets find a way to get out of it.

obligations, man.
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