Tuesday, February 28, 2006

why aren't there any songs about wisconsin?

wisconsin should be off the map. yeah i said it. we are going to keep milwaukee though. why? I'M NOT TELLING. okay. we are not keeping madison i don't even care. it's like madison looks pretty great in the middle of wisconsin but put it in a normal state and suddenly it's just another town with an urban outfitters in it. if you like urban outfitters you will probably fucking love it when i sell you my fourth grade soccer jersey for forty five dollars.

seriously this is completely retarded.

seriously. wisconsin dells. every year fat suburbinites with fanny packs make a fucking hajj to wisconsin dells because they can't afford disney land. wisconsin dells is full of a bunch of shit like circus museums and vehicles that can travel ON LAND AND WATER. this is exciting for poor people. wisconsin dells you are off the map.

as much as i like cheese or whatever wisconsin has got to go. before we secede it to the iriquois or whatever we should probably fill it up with other shit i don't like.

anne geddes. fucking stupid babies dressed like pumpkins that shit is so totally gay i can't believe it and i bet that lady is richer than god. anne geddes you and your stupid fat flower babies are OFF THE MAP!

this is art why?

also those ducks you can dress up for different seasons like oh look fucking april showers and that duck is wearing a slicker FUCKING GAG ME WITH A SPOON. wood paneling. when i was in fifth grade i spent an entire day wallpapering my walls with newspapers and it looked way fucking classier than wood paneling THAT SHIT IS OUT OF HERE. people who have marvin the martian on their checkbook, you paid extra money for that and that may not be punishable by law but you are fucking tragic. linenkugel. i would rather quench my thirst with the cum of a thousand cocks than ever drink a linenkugel again.

wood paneling AND leinenkugel. i'm having the opposite of an orgasm right now.

john edwards. not the ex vp candidate of the luxurious tresses the fucking crossing over guy. john edwards you are a fucking douchebag. i will gladly visit wisconsin if it means i will be afforded the chance to push you off a cliff. gwen stefani. you are fucking thirty six years old wearing a cheerleading costume talking about your shit being bananas and you sould like a fucking retarded baby and now you are reproducing and i guarantee you are going to name your kid some dumb ass shit. if you die while your baby is coming out of you i am going to laugh HAHAHAHHAHAHHHAHHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAH go to wisconsin and die, thanks. also people who say git er done i don't even care if you think you are being ironic (etro) I DON'T WANT TO SHARE MY COUNTRY WITH YOU. also scrunchies, people who wear scrunchies and also kelly clarkson. and plaid. and combovers. goodbye cruel world.
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