Wednesday, February 22, 2006

this is what i do at work all day

mandy: there is probably something in de­vel­op­ment or already made that makes periods stop
the pad and tampon companies are lobbying against it

me: fuck the pad and tampon com­pan­ies. i'm suprised pad companies are even still in business who the fuck uses pads?

mandy: tampons are probably one of the top 5 greatest in­ven­tions ever

me: i know. i should write an ode to tampons.

mandy: seriously
i always meant to but yours would be better

me: we could col­lab­or­ate.

mandy: i have nothing to say except- padz rool
i mean drool

me: ponz rule
padz drool

mandy: yes
ponz rule padz drool
there you go
my con­tri­bu­tion

me: that's awesome. i wish that retard had been like "EW SIS, PADZ DROOL!"
mandy: that would have been awesome if that little retard girl said that when her sister busted out her ketchup soaked mattress sized pad
'sanitary napkin'

me: yeah. exactly. we should recreate that video. do you want to be the retard or should i? and then whoever is the retard can be like 'miette, do you have periods?'

me: miette will never have a period that lucky bitch.

mandy: could you imagine like, an elephant period
what the fuck is that like


mandy: do they make elephant tampons, for GIANT VAGINAS

me: ew the tampon would be like four feet.

mandy: i never really thought about the fact that tons of other mammals have periods

me: do whales get periods?
does it just float out into the sea or what???

mandy: they must
do sharks get hungry when they smell whale period blood

me: so if i get sea water in my mouth there might be whale period blood in it.

mandy: man these questions i have never thought about!

me: next time i am swimming in the ocean with someone i am going to push their head un­der­wa­ter and be like THERE IS WHALE PERIOD BLOOD IN THE WATER.
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