Monday, February 20, 2006

purple heart love veteran

one time i broke this guy's heart for no reason. probably the best guy in the universe. here's a picture of him like four months after we broke up.

because i still made him hang out with me all the time even though he was in love with me and i was banging some other guy.

he says he can't talk to me anymore and he says he can't talk to me ever again. i broke my own heart too.

that was hard and all i did was trivialize things by talking about how stupid it had all been when it actually hadn't been stupid at all because i guess i wanted to cover it up with words that i completely destroyed someone for pretty much no reason or because i wanted to be someone else for a little while or because i wanted to be someone else forever or because i wanted to be someone else other then whoever i was when i was seventeen but he didn't want to be someone else with me.

last night i dreamed i got on an elevator and he was on it. probably i will never run into him on an elevator. hopefully one day he will want to be my friend. i guess not today and not tomorrow.

when we first broke up he lost like forty pounds because he couldn't eat and he couldn't sleep. if he ever wants to talk to me again i hope he calls me. if he ever needs a kidney i hope he calls me because i will give it to him. when he falls in love with someone else if she ever needs a kidney i hope he calls me because i will give it to her too. it is the least that i could do.

luke we will never be together again but if you ever need me to bail you out of jail i will. i would probably even kill someone for you if you asked me to. please don't hate me.
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