Wednesday, February 15, 2006

i am going to have a mental breakdown in the bursar's office.

dear fucking stupid annoying school that i go to:

i am the smartest person you know and any other institute of higher learning would be throwing money at me to go there but i enrolled with you for some god forsaken reason and i'm okay with the fact that by the time i have my phd i will be six figures in debt but i want my fucking refund check. i want my fucking refund check right fucking now. i am so fucking on to you. i know my student loan is in an offshore account garnering ridiculous amounts of interest so that fucking lew collins can sit on top of a giant pile of money and commision rehm koolhaus to build more retarded orange forty eight billion dollar buildings. that shit is not cool. fucking stupid annoying school that i go to if you were a person i would papercut you to death with a thousand dissertations. when my credit card statement comes i bury it in my backyard because i think that if i don't look at it i don't owe money i know that is retarded but that is what i do because the semester is one quarter over and i am about to resort to sucking strange dick on the corner so i can get my cellphone turned back on and i tell everyone i am a deadbeat but i am not a deadbeat i am a fucking scholar so PAY ME MY FUCKING MONEY IT IS NOT EVEN A GIFT THAT I SHOULD BE ALL GRATEFUL FOR IT IS A LOAN THAT I WILL BE PAYING BACK FOR THE ENTIRE REST OF MY NATURAL LIFE SO JUST FUCKING GIVE IT TO ME!!!

with love always,

erin mastermind
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