Tuesday, February 14, 2006

happy vd

one time there was a vd party and i met mandy there. she was wearing a white skirt and she had fuzzy valentines and i lost mine because i was stumbling around drinking vox out of the bottle. my valentines had pictures of vd on them. i am obviously the coolest person you know. this year i made buttons. mandy says this girl kristen made the buttons which is weird because i totally remember spending seven million dollars at kinko's trying to resize pictures of trichomonas discharge and freaking out and punching the computer and stealing a bunch of red paper and thinking IF I DO NOT GET TO MAKE THESE BUTTONS I AM GOING TO SLIT MY WRISTS WITH A THOUSAND KINKO'S PAPERCUTS.

valentines day is all about girls slitting their wrists. when i was fifteen i almost slit my wrists on valentines day because this guy was waiting for me outside the locker room and he gave me flowers and i shoved them in the bottom of my backpack and they died and my best friend almost slit her wrists beause nobody was waiting outside the locker room to fucking mortify her. valentines day is about being mortified or being even more mortified that you were not sufficiently mortified, i guess.

my valentines said i love you on them. that was a lie i don't love everyone that got one. valentines day is all about lying and being mortified and girls slitting their wrists. see you tomorrow.

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