Tuesday, January 03, 2006

maybe if i had a noisemaker

i am going to make nye sound fun.

oh my god new years eve oh six y'all! spent it on a ledge in the bathroom! my hair looked really good! vip new years bathroom countdown! all the cool kids were in there! hiding in the toilet because countdown to midnight is so so lame! and i'm too jaded to spend my first moments of oh six looking at ugly people!

party all the time y'all! ringing in the new year with gay ghetto mexicans! peurto ricans! whatever! oh six is the year for gay thugs to stop being ashamed! awesome! if you don't know who handsome boy modeling school is i don't want to talk to you! hey! you look like bernie mac! except boring and not funny! jessica got hit in the face oh my god it was so hilarious! all she wanted was to get hit in the face twice because it is all about s&m for the latter half of the decade! double zeros y'all!

oh god new years is so stupid. if you're not spending two hundred dollars to listen to a terrible dj and wear a cocktail dress whatever that means than you are drinking vodka out of a water bottle and stressing your friends out by demanding they turn around and meet you somewhere else.

when i was like 15 i supposedly came out of this room with a lampshade on my head singing about i just lost my virginity at a new years eve party. yeah right like i was really running around with a lampshade on my head what do i look like a drunken ethel mertz or whatever? too bad if i lost my virginity on new years i would remember that anniversary forever. unlike how i have no idea what day i lost my virginity or if it was even spring or winter or what or really how old i was even.

happy 2006. i hate even numbers.
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