Tuesday, January 03, 2006

cleanliness is next to boring

i just found out the shower has been clogged for a week or something. mandy told me. she also told me 'you probably didn't notice this because you never shower you dirty skank.'

i think i have taken six showers at my apartment. i don't shower. one time i was getting breakfast with this guy and he was like you're not going to shower are you and i was like FUCK NO DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING TO? and he was like that's awesome. yeah if you think that's awesome wait til you see me four days from now.

if it rains that counts as a shower. and if you don't go out so your hair doesn't smell like a bar put on some new deodorant and that counts as a shower. washing your face and wearing makeup counts as a shower.

then when i do take a shower i wear dirty clothes because seriously i just took a shower what more do you want from me. if you want me to be clean and also look good that is just too fucking bad.

i am actually lucky as hell because i do not get dirty. i pretty much look the same regardless. which is awesome because our shower fucking sucks. it never gets hot. taking a kind of warm shower in the morning when you are freezing cold is like the worst shit ever and i can not take a shower at night because when i wake up i will look like buckwheat.

in paris i didn't take a shower for four days and i wore the same jeans and white shirt the whole time. whatever i had bronze sandals and mascara and i rode around crashing motorcycles and looking parisian.

cleanliness is overrated.
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