i was dating this guy for like one week before he got arrested at white hen for stealing sunflower seeds. who the fuck gets arrested for that??? probably a guy i met at in school suspension. yeah i used to have in school suspension all the time. i was like i'm getting out of here are you with me? tell them you have to go get some reeses to eat with your ritalin. to bad only one of us made it out and it wasn't the one that got escorted to the cafeteria. i guess that is what happens when you are half black and half puerto rican. you get escorted places.
when you are dating a girl for like three weeks don't write her a letter telling her you love her in spanish because it will take her delinquent friends forever to decode it ("i think it says he wants to violate you!" "are you an idiot???" "yeah! i told you i got a D in spanish!"). by the time they halfway figure out what it says they will be falling down laughing and then the girl has it in writing for weeks of future amusement ("i'm bored." "i know, let's read that hilarious letter shawn wrote you again!").
he brought me flowers once. AT FUCKING SCHOOL. i stuffed them in my backpack and they were dead by third period. it must be ultra lovely dating such a romantic girl as myself.
he didn't get it when he told me he loved me and i told him the check was in the mail. duh, it's THE THREE GREATEST LIES OF ALL TIME!!! oh my god i am so fucking funny. too bad i think the third biggest lie of all time is supposed to be "i promise i won't come in your mouth" or something. that's fucking retarded, it should probably be "i never said that!" or "no, i don't think that's weird." wait no, it's "you're right." next time some idiot tells me he loves me which will be never because i don't date idiots anymore i'm going to be like "you're right."
seriously though, flowers and a fucking letter in spanish??? i don't think he got that the reason we went to third base behind a dumpster was in spite of this stupidity and not because of it. um, i was 15. a fucking 40 oz and a mix tape would have been fine. but not a cheesy fucking mix tape. a cool one. woah, look how fucking demanding i am. "i want a mix tape. but not a crappy mix tape a good one. never mind i'll just make it myself." i must be the most high maintenance low maintenance person ever.