Monday, December 05, 2005

that's really interesting oh wait no it's not

i hate meeting ten thousand people and they're all like WHAT DO YOU DO? i am not going to remember your name in seven seconds i really do not give a shit what you do. wow you are 22 and in law school because you WORKED YOUR ASS OFF IN UNDERGRAD. too bad all i did during my six years of undergrad was blow coke up my nose and sleep through my morning classes and I STARTED A PHD PROGRAM WHEN I WAS 23. law school at 22 is not going to get you laid by me. i hate a drunk girl at the bar that is elbowing everybody in the tits and thrashing her head all around so you know she is about to projectile vomit all over everything. what do you do? i get so drunk you can't understand me when i talk.

this guy i know was at a bar where there were strippers not a strip club but a super shitty bar and there was a stripper at the bar. i don't know why. the striper had a dildo on a drill and guys were drilling her with the dildo plus she had one of those little saws that goes back and forth really fast and there was a dildo on that too and she had it in her ass. and she kept on being like HARDER DO IT HARDER. next time somebody asks me what i do i am going to tell them i do that.

what do you do? i get drilled in the pussy and ass for money. with tools. ah, real estate law. that is so very intriguing. i myself have sex with tools for the amusement of others. you should buy me a drink. maybe later you can dress up like al borland and screw me. like for real with a screwdriver.
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