Wednesday, November 23, 2005

thanksgiving time is happy family fun time.

happy family fun time with other people's families eating hotdogs and watching horror movies FUCK YEAH.

we watched the devil's rejects and ate like seven hundred pieces of pez.

then we watched these masters of horror things OH GOD SO FUCKING GOOD. they're each an hour long which is like perfect. too bad rob zombie didn't make the devil's rejects for the masters of horror series because then it would have only been one hour and then it wouldn't have been TOTALLY RETARDED for the last however long.


READ ON AS I RUIN THIS MOVIE FOR YOU. OR DON'T.


there was a pretty good scene in a hotel room where otis makes this girl wear her dead husbands carved off face for a mask and she goes so crazy she runs in front of a truck and gets smeared all over the road. and then after it baby and captain spaulding want some tutti fruiti ice cream and that part was funny as hell.

tutti fuckin fruiti!

then it started to super suck when they went to this whorehouse and i had to watch some fucking cheesy montage of them having all this fun drinking and partying. FUCKING GAY.

also there is this sheriff that is supposed to be out of his mind crazy for revenge or something and he kills mama firefly in the jailhouse by stabbing her in the stomach. like if he was so crazy or whatever he would have totally tortured the shit out of her like she tortured his brother. fatal stab wound = boring.

no he is not a good torturer at all. like when he captured the rest of the family his version of torturing them was like stapling pictures of their mangled victims to their bodies. too bad that is lame as hell he should have made captain spaulding fuck baby since she was his daughter and then while that was going on he could have poured gasoline all over them and burned them alive for a little while. or he could have cut out otis' tongue and made baby eat it or something. otis didn't really talk for the rest of the movie anyway so it's not like it even would have mattered. see it is really not that hard to think of this shit maybe i should write a horror movie.

sherrif wydell your victims look bored.

anyway that torture part was totally stupid. and the whole time i was like when is tiny going to save the day and then tiny did save the day PREDICTABLE. plus tiny should never take that bag off his head because he looks way scarier with it on.

then the end is way too long and pretty stupid. wow happy family fun time road trip WHY IS THIS STUPID MONTAGE LASTING FOR TEN MINTUES? how about in the end they could have all killed each other. that would have been WAY MORE INTERESTING.

house of 1000 corpses was better.

the sad thing is i actually liked this movie i just thought it could have been like way better. oh my god i'm so demanding. i think pretty much everything could be way better than it actually is. why am i not running things.

those masters of horror things i do not think could have been way better those things were FUCKING GOOD like OH GOD FUCK YES good. we watched jenifer and incident on an off a mountain road. next we are watching imprint and the toolbox murders.

happy thanksgiving time family fun.
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