Friday, September 09, 2005

he gives me some knowledge i buy him some shoes

today i went to max's and got two hot dogs. they were a dollar eighty two each and the total was four dollars which means i just paid ten percent tax on food. what the fuck city of chicago! i swear food tax used to be one percent. please stop raping me in the mouth now.

my hot dog was fucking good. it had a pickle on it and some onions and lettuce and tomato and shit like that. what it did not have on it was ketchup because it was a chicago style hot dog and not an everywhere else where people like disgusting ketchup on their hotdog style hot dog.

i gave the other hot dog to this guy i see every day sitting against this fenced in construction site right by my work with a sign that says "i'm hungry" on it. one time i was on the phone while i was walking past it and there were super loud jackhammer noises that sounded like machine guns and i yelled "OH MY GOD I'M WALKING INTO AN AMBUSH!" and the guy laughed super hard. i liked that. if i was homeless and some dumb girl walked past yelling asinine shit into her cell phone i would probably want to stab her in the gut with a rusty shiv.

anyway his eyes were closed and his head was bowed over so i squatted down there like "hi, are you asleep?" probably it's not a good idea to sneak up on homeless people like that because last time someone sneaked up on them it was probably to steal their shoes. luckily he didn't throttle me. i'm like "i got you a hot dog." so he was pretty excited about that and he told me he had just been praying for something to eat.

that's fucked because now i have to wonder if i have free will or if that guy controlled jesus into making me buy him a hot dog. next i am going to make that guy a shirt that says "jesus is my middle man" on it.
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