Thursday, August 11, 2005

theives army

i'm corrupting et.

she bought these new sheets or something and of course when i slept over the fucking harsh chemicals that i put on my face bleached the hell out of her pillowcase so we had to go to like ten different places to find the exact same sheets and now we're getting ready to return the fucked up pillow case and she's having some kind of moral crisis.

now she's like oh my god i'm a theif. no. a theif is when you are drunk and you knock on some nice asian people's door and they let you use their bathroom and you steal a whole bunch of shit from them that you don't even want. returning fucked up pillowcases, everybody does that.

i'm like why don't you just keep all the pillowcases and just return the sheets and be like um, there are no pillowcases in here. she thinks the store has a fucking spy tracking system that is like BEEP BEEP BEEP ALERT ALERT THIS GIRL JUST BOUGHT THE SAME THING TWICE BEEP BEEP. probably she thinks then a bunch of spy robots are going to pop out and put her in mall jail or something.

oh my god she just said she feels like she's going to throw up. this is fucked. i'm going to steal something at the store and see if she makes me go take it back. too bad if i ever had a kid and it stole something from the store which it definitely would because it came from me i would be like hell yeah, kid. that's why i'm not having a kid.
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