Friday, August 26, 2005

round 2

so i walk into this talent agent's office or whatever and i'm like "i would like you to represent me for my act" and he's like "what act is this?" and i'm like

so i go on stage with my husband and our daughter and our adult baby. and he's like adult baby? i'm like yeah, you know, like our 45 year old baby fetish guy. so anyway, we're onstage and our adult baby is bawling and i'm like it's okay, mommy's here, and i put him on the adult baby size changing table and i start to change his diaper which is one of those cloth ones because i'm so environmental, and this god damn adult baby starts spraying explosive diarrhea all over the place! the shit gets all over my face and the fucking bitch daughter starts laughing! she's like totally doubled over laughing and pointing at me with fucking shit all over my face and i'm like what the fuck! so i look at my husband and he's all young lady, that is enough out of you, and he walks off the stage and comes back with this white pony and is like "do you want to know what happens to little girls that disrespect their elders?" and then he shoots the pony in the head and says "their pony dies." so the kid of course starts crying and is like mommmmiieeeee, what the fuck did you do to my ponnnniiieeeeee! and the adult baby is laughing and clapping like the retard that an adult baby is and the kid walks over to the adult baby and starts punching him in the mouth while i'm trying to wipe this shit off my face all over this stupid pony's mane or whatever and the adult baby and the kid are fucking punching each other in the face again and again and my husband takes his pants off and suddenly all these little jockeys come out of nowhere wearing these bright ass jockey suits like a pink one and a green one and a violet one, and they're leading these huge clydesdales that have all these bells on their bridles and the jockeys start jerking off these clydesdales and the clydesdales are just going crazy and the bells are jingling and the brat and the adult baby stop punching each other and turn around with blood smeared all over their mouths and noses and we're all just staring like WHAT THE FUCK and my husband is masturbating too and basically the whole thing culminates in a giant bukkake explosion all over the stupid dead pony but not before the kid screams NOOOOOOO and she throws herself on top of the pony just in time to get totally doused with clysedale ejaculation and my husband is the last one to come all over her and he pulls his pants up and looks at the audience and says "that is what happens when little girls misbehave."

and the talent agent is like "hm. interesting. so what do you call this act of yours?" and i'm like "the aristocrats."
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