Thursday, August 25, 2005

The dirtiest joke ever told.

A man walks into a talent agent and tells the agent he wants to represented for his act.
The agent says, "Hold on now, what's this act you speak of?"
The man says, "Well, it's a stage show. You see, on stage there is a kitchen set-up to look like the quintessential 1950's kitchen, but modern. Nice doilies and clean counters, and happy blue birds embroidered on the towels, etc. Then I come out and tell the audience I am going to show them dinner and a movie the way it ought to be. I say I forgot my family at home and that I will need to pick the new members out of the crowd. Unbeknownst to the rest of the audience, my REAL family is actually placed throughout. My wife is disguised as a blind woman in the front row with the family dog as the seeing eye-dog. My kids are back a few rows with a relative that pretends to be their parent. So first I pick the kids, and they, after some blushing, come down. Then I say I will need a woman to play my wife. I pick a different lady in the crowd, but while she is being bashful I notice the blind woman and instead pick her. Citing I can use the dog too.

Now the cast is assembled. I lay my wife on her back in front of the kitchen table. The kids stand around and eye her. I then rip open her blouse exposing her bare breasts. My wife acts a little surprised but plays along. I then walk the dog over and have it point it's ass over her chest. I fed it laxatives before the show so after some belly rubbing her blows it all over her. I say something of the effect of, 'Wow looks like dinner is ready kids. Let's get mom to the table.' and we then play light as a feather stiff as a board and raise her up an set her down gently on to the table top. Then i say the Lords Prayer. When I finish we all start scooping up the poop by the handful and just cram it in to our mouths. Then the kids start aguing over a particularly solid piece of waste, which results in a food fight. We start whipping shit everywhere. Mom wakes up (as she was presumably passed out), and starts laughing so hard she shits her pants. UH OH!, I say and peel off the dirty undies. We start throwing and eating mom's also. It's all over the stage, and so the dog starts eating the mixture too. Finally, I say 'Who wants desert?!'

Mom and sis both immediately start screaming, I DO I DO. So me and Jr. whip out our dicks and start stroking 'em in their faces. I yell, "We've got bukkake!" I blow my load pretty quick all over the wife, but the son's having trouble getting it out on his sister, so he reaches over and grabs my belt. He slides it out from my waist and wraps it around his neck. He just starts pulling away viciously stranglebaiting himself. Sis wants a cornhole so he turns her head to the side, and finally he shoots it in her ear canal. I mean right in. He is an ace when it comes to aiming that stuff. Now everyone is happy, mom is sucking off the dog, I'm pushing the poop laying around into MY butthole, the kids are getting along for a change, and then I get a great idea. I stand up yell, 'Hey everybody! We've got blockbuster tonight!' Everyone yells 'YEAH!!' I say, 'To the living room gang, I'll grab the popcorn.' and I head over to the microwave. Stage goes dark. Show is over. What do you think?"

The agent is nodding his head and rubbing his chin, "Not bad, but does it have a name? I mean what are we going to call this thing?"
The man says, "It's called the Aristocrats."
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