Tuesday, July 26, 2005


my friends date idiots. i usually try to let them know.

"hey, i'm not sure, but i think your boyfriend may be an idiot."

"your boyfriend is a real idiot, no?"

"god, could you please break up with that idiot before i go insane???"


then they break up and i have to get them drunk and tell them they are pretty. then they get back together. then they break up again and the idiot moves into a trailer in indiana with a girl named mickey. then i have to get them drunk and ask them, did he even know how to read? i'm serious.

these idiots reduce my friends to idiots. then i'm fucking surrounded by idiots. then i end up sitting in a car driving by some idiots house repetitively like now his lights are on now his lights are off now his lights are on! then i end up aiding and abetting my idiot friends with their idiotic breaking and entering schemes. thank god i never went out with any idiots. too bad if i did i would rather just leave then be reduced to a fucking driving-by-house-calling-from-random-payphone-trying-to-hack-into-his-email-idiot. i have to draw the line when they try to get me to go to the idiot's work and spy on him. that's when i say ARE YOU FUCKING RETARDED, HE IS SERIOUSLY THE BIGGEST IDIOT OF ALL TIME PLUS HE'S UGLY ANYWAYS! GET THE FUCK OUT!!! then i have to smack them around a little bit. after that it's like they just woke up out of some kind of coma or something. they shake their head around and are like woah, i don't believe i dated that idiot.

then they find a new idiot.
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