Monday, July 18, 2005

i think i had a five day weekend

this weekend i climbed on a building. climbing on a building is awesome, i don't even care. if you think you're too cool to climb on a building you're probably like the opposite of cool and totally delusional also.

i ate some italian food. some fucking raviolis with delicious cheese and spinach in them and some kind of fucking fabulous oil on it and i think there was also nutmeg on there or something. i don't know but i loved it so much i didn't even care when it knocked me out and date raped me.

i also climbed on a tree and did an amazing monkey swinging dismount which was so totally spectacular but then later i climbed it again and fell out. i used to live in a mulberry tree. it had everything you need. branches, shade, food. climbing a tree is so awesome even when you fall out onto gravel.

me and mandy did some cartwheels and shit in a field. then i think i went in a paddle boat. then i went in a lake. i tried to smoke a cigarette in there and i broke it. so i guess you are not supposed to get a cigarette wet. huh.

when i woke up my hair was all curly and i had bruises and shit all over me. that is normal but i have to go to a wedding this weekend and everyone is going to be like woah, that girl obviously ran through a gauntlet of midgets swinging rakes and shovels and shit! so i guess i'm going to have to invest in something i never wanted to invest in and that is nylons or pantyhose or whatever retarded word you call those retarded things teachers wear. maybe after i'm done with them i'll put them on my head and rob a stop and shop or i could asphyxiate myself with them while masturbating or something.

i made some pasta too. it had sun dried tomatoes in it and capers and shit. i make food and wear panty hose. i'm donna reed.
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