Tuesday, July 19, 2005

i love girls

you know how some girls hate other girls because they are like god girls are just so in general not cool. i used to be one of those girl hating girls.

one time i was friends with this one girl and her bitch ass sister accused me of stealing barbie clothes or some shit so then i didn't get invited over anymore. like any of my barbies ever wore clothes. i didn't paint nipples on them so i could cover them up with a fucking pink dress with stars on it or whatever. that is what girls do, they tell on each other.

then i had this other friend that got pissed at me because i could do better cartwheels than her or something stupid so she brushed my hair with a disgusting dog brush and laughed. then we had a fight and she pulled my hair and poked me in the eye. i'm all, dag, girls are fucking retards.

then i was friends with guys only for a long time. that was fucking awesome. those sluts loved me more than patrick swayze. if you listen to good music and wear shell toes with knee socks and wife beaters every day you can totally dominate a whole group of guys. they used to call me last word and i got to decide all arguments and ambiguities as well as having total veto power. it was like being the fucking president or something.

then i somehow ended up with these three girls that were fucking awesome. one of them was dangerous one of them was slutty and one of them was dumb. it was so fucking intense with these girls that sometimes i wasn't even sure if i was breathing or not. girls are way wilder than guys.

one time the dangerous one got a big bag of coke and was like nuh uh, girls only, we have to lose these guys. she said that guys don't think girls can do anything and they will totally take over this bag that we procured like we can't cut our own lines and roll up our own dolla dolla bill. so we probably told them we all had to change our tampons or something i don't know anyway they all got out of the car and had some shopping cart races while we got totally fucked in my car and listened to tricky. there's nothing sexier than blowing coke up your nose under a streetlight while a girl holds your hair back for you.

later when we were coming down and we were all laying on the floor and one of my awesome guy friends tried to make out with me the slutty one rolled over and got under my blanket with me and was like leave her alone she's all mine and kissed me on the cheek. that's when i was like huh, girls are fucking awesome and i love them.

not all girls will tell on you and talk about boys and lipstick all the time and poke you in the eye. not all girls cry and talk about how they have their period or whatever. not all girls hate to get dirty and can't venture into the woods if there's not some guy there to hold their hand. shit, i'll hold your hand and i'll hold your hair, and i probably won't try to date rape you later either.

i fucking hate girls that hate girls.
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