Monday, July 25, 2005

goes together like...

probably the best thing to do before you are about to drive for 10 hours is get really drunk and not sleep. also don't take a shower and you will look like a strung out crack whore for your road trip and every time you accidentally look at yourself in the side mirror you will throw up a little bit. then you have to get coffee. make sure you get the shittiest coffee ever that has been sitting out all night and is so stale you can't even drink it. put like seven creams and sugars in it and drink it anyway. that's what we did.

oh my god i get so hyperactive in the car it's probably totally fucking annoying. the first think i did was make this sign and show it to all the stupid drivers.

i was so geeked about making this sign that i spelled it wrong. i'm so super smart. et didn't want me to tell the other drivers to kill themselves. she thought it was mean. i showed it to some corrections officers.

we ate some pudding with our tongues because we didn't have any spoons. et was doing something sensual with hers. pretending the chocolate part was a black girl's pussy or something. then we got some double shot starbucks thingies. then i became even more hyperactive and started calling everyone fat bitches including myself. oh my god i am such a fat bitch.

i think i accidentally got some of my annoying on et because then she opened all the windows and blasted lords of acid while we were sitting in traffic. i think she said something like "hey, let's make everyone miserable." i was like hell yeah, kill yourselves you fat bitches.

i tried to explode cars with telekinesis but it didn't work. et wouldn't let me throw garbage at the stupid other cars. she said i was going to get us killed. if i can't litter all over the highway what the fuck is the point of being in indiana? i don't do meth.

i drank like 18 bottles of water and then i made et take me to every rest stop in the world. i also smoked 200 cigarettes in her car. she doesn't smoke. god i must be so fucking adorable to be able to get a way with this type of behavior.
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