Tuesday, July 12, 2005

dirty and drunk

i am a dirty motherfucker. i realized this when i picked up a dish in the hostel that was still kind of wet and i dried it on my ass. while i was doing it i was like my ass is great. not only can i wipe my grimy hands on it i can also wipe a clean dish on it. then i was like woah, that's totally unsanitary. especially since i have been wearing these jeans for ten days. ten days of sitting on the street. then i ate off it. don't worry i didn't die.

that's a lie actually i have known i was dirty since xan pushed me down in the mud and i rolled around in it. i'm a fat pig.

people that do not like to get dirty are fucking boring. if i wake up in the morning and i have dirt all over me i know i probalby did something awesome the night before. if there is also blood on me i know it was probably like super awesome.

one time me and my friend laura were drinking on this trestle. i had to get her super drunk and hold her hand while we walked across the tracks to get her agree to go up there. she was asking me what it felt like to fuck. later we saw a snapping turtle and i chased it into the des plains river. woah, e-coli. then she wrote a song about me called dirty and drunk. it was probably the best song ever written.

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