Monday, July 11, 2005

are you there god? it's me, margaret.

birth control pills are fucking awesome. fuck yes in their fucking awesome pink case that you can carry around and feel in general awesome about having all the great no condom sex you want.

just don't have any no condom sex with anyone dirty. if you don't know if he's dirty just look at him. is he surrounded by a cloud of dirt and bugs like pig pen? oh my god i am just kidding you can totally not tell if a guy has trichomonas or the high five by looking at him. just ask all your slutty friends that already slept with him.

birth control is so fucking awesome you can even give your friends homemade abortions with it. handfull of birth control = morning after pill. fakey morning after abortions at the free clinic of erin are so awesome.

birth control is so wonderful not only can you not have an abortion you can also not have a period. that is fucking awesome because who really wants to have blood coming out of them when they aren't dying? fuck the cycle of life. unless you are like some natural hippie that thinks having a period is beautiful or if you totally enjoy stuffing cotton in your vagina or something.

probably it would be hilarious if your girlfriend wasn't on birth control to dose her. skip the placebo pills so she misses her period. she will totally think she is pregnant and she probably won't tell you. you can totally mess with her during this time. after she finds out she is not pregnant she will be be super happy but still nervous at the same time. that will be the perfect time to try to get her to do it in the ass. good thing if any guy ever tries this on me i am going to be like "i invented that shit!" then i will realize the guy is crazier than me and i will totally fall in love.

margaret sanger's all fuck yeah, that's what i'm talking about!

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