Tuesday, May 10, 2005

you can tell a lot from a kiss

He was the best looking guy I had ever kissed, probably the best looking guy I had ever met. He lived on the floor above mine in the dorms, my first year in college. One night I found myself sitting on his bed anticipating making out or whatever. When we finally kissed it was so amazing I ran out of his room totally grossed out and embarrassed. Seven years later that is still the worst kiss I have ever received. I wasn’t embarrassed for me. I was embarrassed for him, duh.

The sort of pathetic, but not in a sweet way, punch line to my worst kiss ever, is what the guy said to my roommate a week later in the elevator. My then roommate, who incidentally is the dumbest person I have ever met, was most likely doing something obviously vein like checking her make-up or new tan in the mirror, when she asked him if he was going to have sex with me. Apparently he was as perceptive as he was good at kissing, because he shrugged and said, “Probably.” Seriously, he said that.

I was telling my friend Mark this story once, and I was laughing really hard. I wasn’t laughing hard because I’m that funny, but because we were sharing a bottle of tequila, and I was that drunk. I stopped, though, when I realized he wasn’t laughing. Instead he was like, “Wow Erin, you’re really shallow. Did you ever think maybe he hadn’t kissed as many people as you?” What?? Pretty much, he had just called me a shallow whore, because I thought some guy couldn’t kiss well. Obviously Mark wasn’t a good kisser, or he wouldn’t have said that, but it didn’t make sense anyway.

You can tell a lot from a kiss, but sometimes all that matters is you know you never want to kiss that person again. A kiss should be like a romantic expression of what you boil down to, or whatever. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then a kiss is worth a thousand pictures, but I only need one to sum up that boy I met my first year in college. Imagine kissing a turtle crafted from wet cardboard. Gosh maybe Mark was right…

Actually I know I am not shallow because I am made of love, but the best looking guy I have ever kissed, probably the best looking guy I have ever met, definitely was not.
Listed on BlogShares