what the fuck.
my cell phone magically teleported itself away from me today and i have no idea where the fuck it is. probably in magic black hole hell with all my other magic disappearing shit.
i have a stupid landline. does my landline tell me people's phone numbers? no! that shit doesn't even have a clock on it! and it's not like anybody is going to call it because it's fucking vip and i never give out it's number.
i wonder who tried to call me today? probably someone super exciting and awesome. like maybe salman rushdie finally called me back.
i have this stupid atomic clock that is super smart and knows what time it is by satellite and i can't even fucking figure out how to set the alarm on it, so who wants to wake me up tomorrow? by telepathy.
i have a stupid landline. does my landline tell me people's phone numbers? no! that shit doesn't even have a clock on it! and it's not like anybody is going to call it because it's fucking vip and i never give out it's number.
i wonder who tried to call me today? probably someone super exciting and awesome. like maybe salman rushdie finally called me back.
i have this stupid atomic clock that is super smart and knows what time it is by satellite and i can't even fucking figure out how to set the alarm on it, so who wants to wake me up tomorrow? by telepathy.