Monday, April 11, 2005

i need a fake prom dress

today i slept in class, and then when i woke up my one eye felt like as dry as, uh, something that is really dry, chalk, and it started crying tears all over the place. so of course i figured if i got up and left class it would look like i was having some kind of emotional crisis and i would be able to go home early, so that's what i did, but i guess i looked so completely distraught that it scared jaason and frerenando because they took me shopping in china town and bought me dim sum even though i wasn't sad just tired, plus my hair was so fucking messy that i looked like an orphan or whatever. a fucking devestated messy orphan. then jaason asked me to the prom. it was pretty much the most romantic moment of my life. almost as romantic as the 3d artwork with horses falling in love on it that i almost bought.

i asked jaason if he ever fucked a girl before, and if he hated it, and he told me that when he was like 19 he fucked his lesbian friend, like for an experiment or whatever, and he was so bad that she jumped out of bed and turned on the lights and gave him some lessons on how to go down on a girl amazing style or something so then the next two girls he was with went like totally fucking wild for it. i hope jason puts out after the prom.

then i found out that the problem with straight people is that we don't have rules. rules like, you can fuck your friends but you can't date them. i was like, oh! we can do that too! but frerenando was like, no, you can't. so that was kind of disappointing. if i can't do it with my friends, who am i supposed to do it with? i hate meeting new people. seriously. i feel like that sad little oval thing in the zoloft commercials or whatever. i guess i'm never having sex again. except hopefully after prom. i'm keeping my fingers crossed.

i forgot my camera otherwise there would be a picture of me trying on a slutty gold chinese style dress that would be perfect for the fake prom, and banging a gong. i'm so academic.
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