Tuesday, March 22, 2005

this post is bipolar

today i get to write syntax all day, AWESOME! i didn't even know i was a programmer. i have such a positive attitude today that it is simply astounding.

there were a bunch of cute kids on the train today, in contrast to the vagrants and whores that i usually ride to work with so that was nice. they smelled like neutrogena and had tons of barretts on their heads.

this weekend while i was in the car with my family i had this vision of pulling into the garage and out pop a bunch of guys with guns and they slaughter my whole family. i'm sure i would probably get killed last, and maybe even raped. if you saw your whole family get killed right in front of you would that make it better or worse to get raped? like you probably wouldn't be thinking about how bad it hurt or anything because you would have other shit on your mind. but then again you might be like what the fuck, this asshole just killed my whole family and now he is having sex with me??? you would also have to know that you were going to be killed when it was all over with anyway. so that would either be more or less scary. like there wouldn't be all the uncertainty, but you would probably still be scared to die. it would be awesome to be able to believe in god at that moment. do normal people think about things like this?

fuck, this new birth control i'm on is making me fat and mental.
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