Tuesday, March 29, 2005

phillip morris made me make a fifty year old retarded man cry aka fuck altria

so mayor retardo wants to build a casino in the empty space right next door to my work. awesome. a casino right in the middle of downtown chicago. then i could go over there and have all you can eat lox for $4.99 every day except i'd probably throw up ten times while i was eating because i'd be surrounded by the most disgusting people ever, like huge fat people that don't clean the fecal matter out of their fupa creases or whatever.

anyway, i thought casinos were supposed to be on riverboats or something, even though it really doesn't even matter since it's pretty much pretending to be in the water and is actually practically in the middle of the street and not at all floating in the middle of nowhere like you think it would be.

people at casinos are fucking desperate. i bet i could buy a baby there.

and hell if retarded people don't love gambling. too bad it should be illegal, like how it's illegal for little kids to fuck because they have no idea what they are getting into.then the evil geniuses that make the scratch off cards make it so you need to get three of a kind but then you actually get two pairs, woah, i almost won! hello, you can't almost win the lottery. that's a concept that a lot of non retarded people can't even grasp.

the gas station i worked at was pretty close to this whole apartment complex that was like government housing for retarded people or something. anyway, this guy bob used to come in spent all his fucking money on lottery tickets and cigarettes. he would bring shit from his house and try to sell it for dollars to buy scratch offs. here's how much he didn't understand what the fuck was going on in life: if a cigarette pack had the cancer warning on it he wouldn't buy it but if it said like smoking may cause low birth weight or something he would. like he seriously didn't understand they were all the same. i tried to explain it to him all the time and he wouldn't listen so one time i got really mad and i made him listen. he started crying and was like "i, i, i, i know kid, i, i know."

i stole a fifty year old retarded man's innocence.

anyway, i thought gambling was illegal, how come the government is allowed to do it? maybe next they will be allowed to straight up rape people. it's like how people say the lottery is a tax on the poor, it's really true. that shit should be at least twice as banned as gay marriage.
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