Saturday, March 19, 2005

my roommate is better than yours

today is jessica's birthday


having jessica for a roommate is pretty much like being in heaven.

i like how she is so tall (practically a giant) because we have shelves i can't reach.

i also like how she has pretty hair, because sometimes your roommate leaves hair all over the house that looks like pubes and it's sick.

she's probably one of the best smelling roommates i've had, which is saying a lot because i think i've had ten or twelve.

i bet if i had a giant poster of bob marley smoking a joint, jessica would let me hang it up in the living room unlike some other bitches i lived with.

one time i had a roommate that had seizures. jessica never has seizures and that's awesome.

if i was dying of alcohol poisoning jessica would probably call 911.

sometimes living with jessica is like being in the funniest episode of crank yankers ever, except way more funny even.

she also feeds me a lot. did you know that i'm like a dog? if you feed me i will probably love you forever. especially if what you are feeding me is a fucking delicious ice cream ball wrapped in dough.

obviously i am so excited that jessica was born that i am making her a birthday cd including such awesome songs as the buddy 12 inch remix by de la soul featuring a tribe called quest, jungle brothers, queen latifah and monie love, and also unity pt. 1 by afrika bambaataa and james brown. i am also making a cake because i am trying to be awesome. or maybe jessica brainwashed me by putting pictures of cakes on her blog for like the past month. whatever.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESSICA
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