Saturday, March 12, 2005

jesus don't mean shit to me

easter is my least favorite holiday. probably because i don't believe in god.

i'm not like the black sheep of my family or whatever, none of us believe in god. except my mom but she believes in whatever god jewish people believe in. the god that wasn't jesus' dad i guess.

so anyway i have no idea why i have to go to my parents house and eat a ham every year on easter. being that none of us care about jesus and i don't even eat meat. like, i'm sure that jesus was probably pretty awesome or whatever but i'm really just not interested.

gandhi was at least as awesome as jesus, and without any magic powers or anything. that's a real role model, how am i supposed to aspire to be like someone who can walk on water, that shit is just a pipe dream for me. you know, a fantasy induced by smoking an opium pipe. that's what it means, look it up.

i'm sure we're all going to hell. luckily my brother and i are going to the hell for unbaptised infants where we will be afflicted with melancholy while my dad will be going to the hell for either heretics or blasphemers or something, to be enclosed in a burning tomb and stretched on burning sand for all of eternity.

afflicted with melancholy and desire without hope? whatever, that pretty much sounds like right now. i'm not scurred.

according to dante there are three types of sin. my favorite one is the one where it's a sin to abuse reason, the most godly quality of man. i'm not trying to hurt anybody's feelings or anything but if you believe that dinosaurs coexisted with cavemen flinstones style, you are devoid of rational thought and you basically make god sick.

wouldn't it be funny if there actually was such a thing as hell? i would be like what the fuck, i feel like such an idiot! then i would get raped by a demon and denied mayonaise for all eternity.
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