Tuesday, March 15, 2005

eric asher you are not very good

so yesterday i attended a free concert at the university of chicago that made me want to die. there were a bunch of screens with slow motion close ups of tortises walking and the band was i guess expiremental and pretty much sounded like they were tuning their instruments the whole time. probably it would have been better if there had at least been some modern dance or something but there wasn't and it pretty much scarred me for life.

before the part where i wanted to die there was a part that was pretty good involving some post glitch folk for the erudite wanderer or some shit. i don't know what that means and i made the last part up. anyway, the main guy was fucking insane and was doing weird howling noises like whats his name on the final episode of twin peaks, whoever killed laura palmer or something. yeah, my parents let me watch twin peaks when i was little but they wouldn't let me watch the simpsons. that's because my parents are really smart.

anyway, the guy sang a song that he had written for his sister. it made me fucking pissed! my brother never wrote me a song! you know what he did do? hit me in the eye with a screwdriver and called me a fat fuck!!

do you hear that eric? you are a bad bad brother! you never wrote me a song! you never drew me a picture! nothing!!! don't you remember when i taught you how to walk? and when i taught you how to smoke cigarettes?? return the favor already! GOSH!

i will see you on sunday. please make a secret recording of something hilarious for me. i'm serious. if you don't do this you are not getting spun back, your favorite movie ever.

god i am so fucking glad i don't have a sister though. unless she was a twin, that would be awesome. when i was little sometimes i used to pretend i was my own twin, to trick people. it worked too, because people don't really expect a little kid to be lying about that. my fake twin's name was jessica, just like my roommate. woah, what if jessica only exists in my mind except i'm so crazy i practically brought her to life tyler durden style. i really wouldn't put that past myself.


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