Thursday, February 17, 2005

time travel

i got this thing in my email and it's talking about oreos and how if the national defense budget was oreos we would have way too many fucking oreos and we could probably use them to feed orphans or something instead of using them on national defense and giving ourselves diabetes.

fuck orphans, we should probably use those oreos to build a time machine. then we could travel to rwanda 1994 and stop the genocide. wait, genocide in rwanda in 1994? like the same 1994 when i was a freshman in high school? i think i actually remember hearing about that but the media made it seem like it was no big deal, although i'm not really sure how you make genocide seem like it is not a big deal. i guess that is why i'm not a media genius.

seriously i would probalby only have to send like 1000 soldiers in my time machine, because i don't think the genocide was that organized and their weapons were like machetes or whatever, strictly farm league shit. yes i am getting all of this information from a movie because i am ignorant and uninformed, it's true.

also there is a casual genocide in sudan, but that one is occuring in the present. like right now...and also now. that is so fucked up that it makes me want my $25 back from the tsunami so i can send it to sudan.

i wonder if the real reason that nobody cares about genocide in sudan or rwanda is because they are black africans who don't look like me. because in my opinion black africans look pretty much exactly like me. they have a torso with arms legs and a head coming off of it just like i do and they also have eyes and i have eyes, and they probably have all the same internal shit too, like lungs and neurons and blood and everything. you would think that the UN would be able to figure this out. holy shit maybe i am the smartest person in the world that is really scary.

also we could use the time machine to do other cool shit like not dropping an atomic bomb on japan and also not wipe out all the native americans with syphilis.

i'm sure that i would win a nobel prize, plus i would also be able to get into heaven without even accepting jesus christ as my personal lord and savior because my accomplishments would outshine even jesus. in your face jesus!
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