Monday, February 07, 2005

oops, i think i dropped my soul

So the other day I mentioned that my friend Amy was a professional protestor, and Abnormal wanted to know what is the going rate for a professional protestor these days, and I was like hahahhahah strictly pro bono. But then because I am an evil genius, I started wondering why we can't pay people to protest.

Like, yeah, I'm sure it totally sucks to have to run past a bunch of fat fundamentalists on the way to your abortion, what with all the screaming there's probalby spit flying everywhere, and pictures of stewed tomatoes or bloody aborted zygotes or whatever, but I bet it would be more effective if the protestors were like all the coolest kids from your school. Why doesn't the religious right just pay all the cool kids to stand outside the clinic, they could just stand around and file their nails, and then when someone comes they could be like "abortions are so 1997." and "ew, don't sign her yearbook, she's a baby killer."

Then I realized that this would actually be a double pronged attack, because according to the laws of cognitive dissonance, even if the cool kids were only in it for the money, they would eventually start to believe in what they were doing, because if they didn't they would realize that they had black souls and would have to kill themselves, and seriously, it's so much easier to change your attitudes than to change your behaviors. Why do you think your dad turned republican when he started earning 100k?

Like if you make someone publicly state an opinion contrary to his actual opinion, he will probably change his own opinion. This sounds ridiculous, but unfortunately the human mind is weak and predictable. Take a social psychology class, it's fucking fascinating.

Is it legal to pay people to put political bumper stickers on their cars?

Will somebody please hire me to rule the world?
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