Wednesday, February 09, 2005

mr. molest

i don't think my mom loves me.

when i was like 14 i got sexually harrassed by this old ass man named mr. molest. this douchebag lived across the street from my parents and he used to show me his dick. he planned the shit out too, because he would tell his daughter in law that he had a dental appointment and then she would call me over to babysit except there really was no appointment and when i got there he would walk around naked the whole time and one time i think he tried to get me to touch his dick. plus he wanted to take me shopping for "revealing clothes." and i fucking love shopping but seriously.

mr. molest had the spare key to our house, and one time my mom was on a trip and i came home from a gymnastics meet and mr. molest was in my house. i'm sure he thouroughly enjoyed sniffing my panties, SICK.

why would my parents give our housekey to a guy named mr. molest? well, his real name isn't mr. molest, it's mr. pervert, but seriosly mr. molest sounds so much funnier. anyway mr. molest had a keg party on his front porch every single day and of course all the dads were over there all the time. so here's a pointer for all the pedophiles that are reading this: if you want to mildly molest one of your neighbors, her dads love for beer might be stronger than his concern for his first born child, and if that is the case you are in fucking luck.

so i told my parents about all of this, and what did they say, they said "don't call him mr. molest that's fucking rude and disrespectful." WHAT?? because i thought that the rude and disrespectful part was when i got tricked into coming over to some old dude's house so he could show me his dick! then my parents forced me to attend his christmas eve party, and even though i bet my mom would deny it because she's probably blocked it out of her mind in order to preserve her self image, she made me give him a hug. like, after i had told her what a sick fuck he was.

i wonder if i could sue my mom for this, mental anguish and shit. because more fucked up than the fact that i got practically molested is the fact that she kept making me go over there to babysit! then one time the daughter in law came home early and saw him being all weird and then called me to ask if anything happened, like maybe she thought he raped me or something, and then she also called my mom. so then she never asked me to babysit again after that thank god.

so this weekend i was at my parents house and we went to watch the superbowl with some neighbors, and i said something like "is mr. molest going to be there, SICK" and my mom started screaming at me not to talk bad about people! She freaked the fuck out! i was like what the fuck mom, he SEXUALLY HARRASSED ME! and she told me it was in the past and i need to get over it. that's the fucking funniest shit ever because my mom still talks mad shit about how the next door neighbor got all up in her face regarding whether some stupid tree was actually our property or theirs. my mom is like the queen of never getting over shit. By the time I brought that up my mom was practically foaming at the mouth and my brother had to diffuse the situation.

anyway, i have no idea what the fuck is wrong with my mom. she even made me let him take my picture in my cheerleading uniform freshman year so he could put in on his huge board full of pictures of underage girls.

seriously, what is wrong with her???

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