Tuesday, February 01, 2005

dirty south

When I was little I wanted an American Girl doll. My mom did not buy me one, because she is not a stupid peice of shit mom.

Not that your mom is, I'm sure all our moms are super awesome.

I wanted the Swedish one, because you could buy a St. Lucia's day outfit for her, and my birthday is on St. Lucia's day which I thought was cool even though I'm not Swedish and I don't even know what St. Lucia's day is.

So I can only imagine that if I was 8 years old and Mexican and I lived in Pilsen, surely I could not live without Marisol.

All the American Girl dolls have a back story. Like the Swedish one was blond and she probably lived in a fucking cottage or something. And I think there was one from world war two.

I bet if I was 8 years old and Mexican and living in Pilsen I would be filled with fucking glee while I read about Marisol and her fucking crazy beanie she wears and all her exploits in Harrison Park which might be right across the street from my own house!

I wonder how I would feel when I read the part where Marisol's mom tells her they are moving to fucking Des Plaines because Pilsen is so super ghetto!

Probably I would say "Mommmeeeeeee! Marisol's mom says that Pilsen is no place for a little girl to grow up! Do you hate me?"

And then my mom would be like "No Honey, Marisol's mom was just worried about all the traffic."

And that would not be my mom making up the dumbest shit I've ever heard in my life, that would be my mom reapeating an actual statement that was made by some American Girl spokesperson named Stephanie Spanos, aka the dumbest bitch in the world.

I don't think that Pilsen is even a bad neighborhood. Maybe that's because I go to school in the middle of the projects. As annoying as poverty stricken destitute individuals are, they don't usually kill you. Plus I'm pretty sure Pilsen is mostly working class, kind of like the neighborhood I live in now, which people think is the worst neighborhood in the world, because they are secretly scared of black people I guess.

The north side is the new suburbs.

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