Friday, January 07, 2005

skinny bitch

Tony Pierce wants us to eat pastrami double cheeseburgers from Carl Jrs and revel in our fatness because we're all going to have heart attacks anyway.

Uh, no.

Fat people don't look cool. You know what looks cool? Smoking. When I smoked cigarettes, people used to come up to me all the time and be like "God damn girl, you are cooooo-uhl." Okay, no they didn't, but they probably wanted to and were just intimidated or something. One time the Indian guys at the convenience store gave me a pack of bidis for free, which are even cooler than regular cigarettes because they are brown and smell like cigars and incense. I smoked them like regular cigarettes too, and the next day I sounded like Kathleen Turner. crazysexycool. Yeah, girls look sexy smoking. Girls do not look sexy eating a deep fried candy bar.

If I still smoked I would probably be smarter and sexier and more people would read this blog.




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