The first thing I ever stole was some pop rocks. I had an accomplice: Louisa. She had blonde hair and a boys bike, and I used to ride on the handelbars. It was her idea.
Danielle was 13 and also blonde. She had short hair and a step father, and when I'd be like "is your dad going to be home?" she would scream at me "HE'S NOT MY DAD!!!" I didn't know why she would steal an alarm clock, when she already had an alarm clock, and a 13 year old doesn't even really need an alarm clock anyway.
But when I was in high school, I stole like crazy. I loved it. I had accomplices but this time I was in charge. The mastermind. I even liked getting caught. I thought it was hilarious. The security guards were all red faced and "this isn't funny!" but it was funny, and then we charmed the arresting officers and didn't even get in trouble.
Then like a week later I wore a white dress and smoked a cigar and shook hands with my dean and graduated from high school and I never stole again, the end.
So sometimes my mom still brings it up and I'm like "Shut up mom, ALL GIRLS STEAL." My mom says she never stole, but that's just a lie, and if it's not I feel sorry for her because she really missed out.