Thursday, July 29, 2004

I heart commas and italics

So over the past few months, if you had walked past the Sears on Madison and State, like I do every day on my way to work, if you were paying attention, you would have noticed that the mannequins were wearing swimsuits and penny loafers. Actually, they weren't wearing penny loafers, their feet were molded into likenesses of penny loafers. Way to go Sears marketing geniuses. Now  I know why nobody wants to shop at your crappy store. I guess they were too cheap to buy mannequins with bare feet, for just one season. They thought nobody would notice, but HA! I notice everything. At least the penny loafers fit in for fall. NOT! Because now they have mannequins wearing pajamas and bath robes with their penny loafers. Maybe one day the idiots at Sears will be gazing out of their window at the Gap across the street, and realize that they could save money and be less ridiculous by getting rid of their lame ass penny loafer mannequins and hanging the clothes on body-shaped peices of plastic with no heads/arms/legs. Those things probably cost like $5 and they don't piss people off who have to look at them every day. And come on, these mannequins don't have hair or facial features, but they are wearing penny loafers? That's some stupid ass shit.

Yes, I know I am crazy.

Wednesday, July 21, 2004

super friend

So today I left for work like 30 minutes later than I normally do, yet I still got to work on time. And I don't usually show up 30 minutes early or anything. I'm not sure how that worked out. I think I have discovered my secret super power: The ability to always be on time. Because now that I think about it, I don't think I have ever been late to anything in my entire life. In fact, I bet I could leave for work at 9:30, and still get here by 9:00. That's why it's a super power. I mean, it's not as cool as being able to fly, or go invisible, but still.

Wednesday, July 14, 2004

mmmm cherrrries

Say you are eating cherries and most of them aren't very good. They are too ripe or not ripe enough, whatever. So you are finishing the handful of not so good cherries that you grabbed, and the very last cherry is absolutely delicious. It's nice and dark red, and firm yet juicy, overall a very good cherry. So then you go back to the fridge, get another handful of cherries, and unfortunately, again, most of these aren't very good. Here's the weird thing: If all the cherries had been good, you would have stopped after the first handful. It is the hunt for the elusive good cherry that causes you to keep going back to the fridge. It's like you have this need to eat 10 good cherries, and you have to eat 10 damn it, regardless of if they are the first 10, or if it's 10 good cherries out of 100! You might think this has never happened to you, but it has, you just never noticed it before. Watch.

mmm, cherries are good.
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