Monday, November 22, 2004

worst episode ever

I should have gone into marketing. When I was little, my brother and I used to make up or own commercials and act them out, and I think almost 75% of them surpassed the quality of actual commercials I see on tv.

I was going to write about the worst commercial ever, but I really don't think I can narrow it down to just one.

My roomate hates the new Old Navy commercials. But are they really any worse than the ones that came out last christmas? The ones with Lil Kim? Where Morgan Fairchild says "These Old Navy turtlenecks are off the hook!" Did she actually follow that up with a "Fo Shizzle," or did I just make that up?

Herbal Essences. Like Old Navy, Herbal Essences has demonstrated consistency with the crappiness of their commercials. I really hate the one that is out now. Some girl is singing a song, "rock your senses." My dogs run out of the room whenever it comes on. I think it makes their eardrums bleed. But at least her hair looks good, unlike the people at the "streaking party."

It's really sad when you see the Eagle Man commercial, which obviously cost less than $100 to make, and it's better than the commercials for Subway. Jared Fogal does not make me want to eat a sandwich.

I don't hate all commercials though. Some of them are actually pretty good. Like Lava Line commercials. Call in and you will be a part of a big ass party! Seriously, it's probably the coolest party ever. First, there are a bunch of good looking people at this party. There is also a pool, a hot tub, and one of the guests has a monkey on his shoulder! Why do I not get invited to parties like this??

I think it would be pretty simple to make a good commercial. Your commercial should tell a story: Here are some cool people. You could be like these people if you buy this product! People don't buy a product so they can be like Jared Fogal or Carrot top!

I know I am forgetting some real allstars. Please help me in my quest for the worst commercial of all time.
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