Thursday, November 18, 2004

Sales

I just attended a meeting which involved my department (research & development, aka assessment measurement solutions, aka assessment sciences) explaining our products to the sales department. Excuse me? Does this mean that until today the sellers did not understand what they were selling? Wow. Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that they will understand it after today either. Because they are morons. And half of them were passing notes during the presentations, which doesn't surprise me because the entire sales department seems to have the mentality of a fifth grader.

Seriously. What the fuck is wrong with sales? Every month this chart goes up that says "Stellar Sellers!" And it has the sales reps who made the most in sales that month. It reminds me of the one my mom made for my little brother where he got a gold star every time he took a shit in the toilet. Yay!!

If I ever run a company, I'm not even going to pay the sales people. I'll just put some stickers on their cubicle at the end of each week, and if they do a really good job I'll make a big sign with their picture on it that says "Super Job Meredith!! You are a fucking sales rockstar!!!"
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